My two cents

Bismillahir rahman nir rahim

 In the name of Allah , the most compassionate and merciful

Twas scrolling twitter and saw this pic

 Something was wrong. Tak nak masuk neraka ? Of course , yes it's true, it's part of our teaching but. Why teach kids to be afraid of hell instead of striving for paradise ? Call me liberal and petty but i simply cannot accept it. It's like "if you dont do this, you'll go to hell" . I hate it. It's not the islam i fell in love with. Islam is peace, it's kind and it's simple. Just how i imagine our Prophet p.b.u.h. To be ! It's the way of life , how we should live. This makes islam seem like an oppression. Islam isnt just about hellfire, it's about the beauty of being Allah's servant. And to be His true servant, we have to strive to be be the definition of a Muslim.

And in reference of being a definition of a Muslim, the few descriptions of Malaysian Muslims typically viewed my non-muslims are; doesnt eat pork, are afraid of dogs and wears tudung. Oh and fast during ramadhan. That is how Malaysian muslims portray themselves. But the more i learn, the more i realize that there's more to being a Muslims than being a Malay, which is completely different. Apparently now there's an indistinguishable line between those two, and is becoming one of the top factors of hindrance towards islam. My point is, this shouldnt be our identity. Nampak sangat tak portray the true meaning of being a Muslim.

okay, back to topic, for example, if i were to tell you either of two things,

(A) If you pluck a leaf, i would reward you with RM100

(B) If you don't pluck a leaf, you would have to pay RM100

Which sounds more inviting? Yes, both will motivate you to pluck a leaf, but (B) cast me in a darker light does it not? There's always a softer and gentler alternative to commands and instructions. So why choose the harsher option? Is this how you portray Islam ? Just my 2 cents.

Hijab

Bismillahir rahman nir rahim

 In the name of Allah , the most compassionate and merciful

During the early days of my reversion, my mum would often ask a question where the conversation would go :

"Why can't you be like normal muslims? She dont wear tudung mah"
"No mum, if you are a muslim, you are subjected to cover your awrah. And for women to the opposite gender is every body part except the face and hands"
"Why must cover?"
"To guard your modesty"
"Not modest meh wear loose fitting clothes and skirt below knee?"
"Modesty in the context where it varies depending on the culture of a certain country. In Saudi Arabia, revealing your ankles might be revealing. In the west, bikinis are. And in Malaysia it varies as much because we're multi-racial. As you were raised in a Chinese community, what i am wearing now may be modest. But to me, i feel comfortable wearing a hijab."

Well the convo goes on and on, but I want to explain to you why I had decided to wear a hijab.

     It just tells general public that I am a Muslim. I have once gone to a dinner with my Italian boss, his wife and their friends. We went to a non-halal Italian restaurant. I planned on just ordering a salad when the owner of the restaurant came to me and said that I could order anything I want on the menu and it will be halal. Honestly I was surprised. But to be safe i ordered a seafood pasta in case he doesn't know about halal meat. My boss then reassured me that the cook has borrowed cooking utensils and pots from a nearby halal restaurant just for my meal so I dont have to worry. After, when we had finished our meal and were about to leave, the male friends smiled at me and took a bow *insert laughing emoji* it was hilarious, and i was extremely amused but grateful for the thoughtfulness all the same. Alhamdulillah for such understanding companions.

     In my days as a non-muslim, I have (not to be proud) got some attention of males when i walk around in malls, cat-calls and direct flirtation. Been chased by Indonesian workers, and a wandering Nigerian. (no, not all of their nationals behave that way). After wearing a hijab, I realize a change . No more cat calls, stares, and it wasnt that they were ignoring me. I felt like I was being respected. They lowered their gaze or shifted it somewhere else. It was then that I thought, they respected me, because i respected myself. NO, I do not mean that people who do not wear a hijab have no humility. I don't mean that. I'm simply speaking in my terms, and my situation. I hope i didn't offend anyone. Hope my point got across tho. I have read a quote on twitter that goes something like Allah protects those who have an effort to protect themselves. Dammit I forgot the exact words and it has something to do with this, believe me. (trust me pls)

     Of course my main reason was because Allah has commanded me to. but have you ever though about why Allah has done so? Everything that Allah has set for us isnt without justification. And it is encouraged to find out what these justifications are. Ahh yg tu saya malas nak tulis, pi research sendiri.

     A more important point of all this is why I had cultivated a love for this religion. It encourages questions. It has no fear in it because all the answers are in the Qur'an. Im kinda sleepy now, so maybe it'll be edited soon hihi

Assalamualaikum

Giving

Bismillahir rahman nir rahim

 In the name of Allah , the most compassionate and merciful

 
I have been aching to write this story which my father had told me weeks ago. Here goes:

My father's colleague was queuing at the ATM and in front of her was a woman in her 30s, with two kids pulling at her jubah with streak of tears on their small faces. Lets name her woman A and my father's colleague woman B. So, when it was woman A's turn, she did what she needed and tried to withdraw RM30. Denied. She tried again. Denied. She checked her balance and woman B saw on the ATM's screen that woman A had RM8.50 in the account left. Woman B felt bad and open her purse, wanting to give woman A some money. In her purse had no small change, only RM50's. Woman B closed her purse and let woman A leave.

Woman B still felt guilty and told my dad the story. this is what my dad said :

"Can't you see that God is testing you? Whether you are able to part with your RM50. What are the odds that you got to see the ATM screen with her account balance? If you gave away that RM50, you may feel like it's a little financial loss. But to her, she might be able to get food, maybe for a week for her and her kids."

I see a lot of truth in that. Some of us may not be effected much by giving so little, but to others, getting this "so little" may mean a lot. That they don't have to starve for a few days. It's my assumptions but the essence of my story is there. I know there are so much to be skeptical about this world, scams, fake illnesses, and children who are used as beggars. But some of them TRULY NEED IT. Sometimes, you just have to keep in mind that you have done your part by sadaqah. What they do with that money is their business. Not the greatest thing to do but at least you can have a peace of mind.

I rather not talk about pahala and the benefits for doing sadaqah. Because i think that sadaqah is to help others in need and to me, if i do it in any other reason, the sincerity of it is gone.

Assalamualikum

Merry Christmas?

Bismillahir rahman nir rahim

 In the name of Allah , the most compassionate and merciful

   

    As festive season approaches, I can see there are many issues on Muslims wishing those who are celebrating "Merry Christmas" or attending parties held by friends on christmas (note: NOT CELEBRATING OR HOSTING A PARTY). One i had read from twitter is that a woman who wear a long veil (tudung labuh) was with her son at the mall and there were Santa Claus and christmas props there. When "Santa" offer the little boy candy, the woman immediately pull her son away and made a face. Then she said "Kami tak sambut krismas dik. Itu amalan kafir" I understood what she said was true but WHAT'S WITH THE ATTITUDE? I mean, someone has offered you candy. Food. Bukan rezeki ke tu? Kalau mmg taknak pun, smile and say "minta maaf ye dik, kami tak sambut krismas" . To me, this is what you call muslim extremist bcs you're being rude. Try to stop and think. FIKIR WEH FIKIR Nabi Muhammad S.A.W. akan buat camtu tak ? Would he, gracious as he is, do that to a person offering candy to his child? 

  Next, wishing Merry Christmas and attending a Christmas Party. Ada 2 hukum about this. One is Haram , and another Harus. Haram is bcs it's like you're condoning the fact that they are following the wrong faith and apparently egging them on. Harus is bcs Islam is about PEACE . We live in a multi-racial and multi-religious country. They wish us well for our celebration, we wish them well for their celebration. Islam requires Muslims t respect the faith of others. Even the Prophet himself allowed a Christian delegation to celebrate their religious celebration in the mosque. If invited to a party, you can either say yes or no. But if you do say yes, just be aware if there are activities that go against our religion. That too I'm sure isn't much of a problem bcs Malaysians already know the basics of Islam. No touching between men and women , must only consume Halal food and pray at certain times, 5 times a day. 

 But i have to state that HOLDING a christmas (or any non- muslim religious events) party is Haram. Yes HARAM

   Either option you choose, always be polite. Show the ways of our prophet, show the ways of Islam. Isn't that dakwah too? I'm a little affected by this controversy because I'm Muslim but my family celebrates Christmas. I know my limits and they know mine. The thing is, Christmas has become a secular holiday in Malaysia. But Allah knows best, and I'm still learning. Just my thoughts on this issue is all. Everyone keeps peace in their own way, either being polite to accept or decline. Only Allah knows yr niat and Allah is the greatest of all forgivers.

Assalamualaikum,

Midnight rage

Bismillahir rahman nir rahim

 In the name of Allah , the most compassionate and merciful

I should be unpacking right now. But being me, i procrastinate (hehe) so i scrolled twitter and saw a retweet on this picture

 And i was absolutely furious.

Why? Because they make Allah seem so unforgiving, and that is an attribute He has that is repeated multiple times in the Holy Quran. Allah is the Ar-Rahman, Ar-Rahim, Al-Ghaffar and Al-Ghafoor. The most gracious , compassionate, the ever and all-forgiving. Who are we, insignificant humans in this vast world that Allah has made, to say that HE DOES NOT ACCEPT THE WORSHIP OF A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT COVER HER AURAH ? HOW DARE YOU?

And how dare you imply that only WOMEN who do not cover their aurah are punished? Have you forgotten that men too have aurah ? Please, i beg of you as a fellow muslim, to mean that Allah will not accept acts of worship from MUSLIMS that do not cover their aurah DURING SALAT. Because if you mean i what most people have been thinking, Allah doesnt accept salah of that girls who do not wear hijab i would slap you hard on the face.twice. , I pray that Allah will let you see the light. For i have not found any dalil, hadith or ayat from the Quran that says/imply so.

I urge all of you to check on a the kesahihan of a Islamic fact before retweeting , sharing on FB or forwarding it on Whatsapp. You might be spreading lies. Now that we're in that topic, i want to address and issue that has became a pet peeve of mine (beside people using "do" in sentences that do not need it) the people actually believe the BS so called facts that are forwarded in Whatsapp.

This one particular message got my nerves . It's about Christians' Holy Water. They say that if you drink it, it will make you murtad and unable to speak the syahadah. What's even more unbelievable? That these gullible muslims believe that this Holy Water is made from "air persetubuhan antara Father(priest) dan Sister(nun) .

What. Were. You. People. Thinking. First of all, priest and nuns arent supposed to have any sexual contact with ANYONE. Second, it being product of dirty materials makes it black magic and BLACK MAGIC ≠ CHRISTIANITY . How ignorant can you be? It all comes down to our faith in Allah. If there was such a thing, I think most Malaysians have already Murtad.

Correct me if I'm wrong. kk sleepy now.

Good night people, Assalamualaikum

A Book's Cover

Bismillahir rahman nir rahim 

In the name of Allah , the most compassionate and merciful

Once again, pouring my thoughts in this long winded blog. I have dwelled on this matter for a very long time, which had occurred to me before i was a revert. 

Being judgemental. 

Had the title of the post make sense? Don't judge a book by it's cover. I have thought it was human nature, to judge on first impressions and appearances. But i have realize that Malaysia typically focus on one : piousness (kealiman). And the piousness we speak of mostly only revolve around whether or not you don a hijab, regardless the length of it. As long as we don't see your hair. Anyone else seem to think this is wrong??

Personally  i have gone through this. Even before I officially reverted, I had long start to pray to get used to doing what's wajib. Naturally when i go out with my parents i would not have a hijab on my head, though i daresay the rest of my clothing are quite modest. I would slip away from my parents (sometimes with great difficulty) to sneak to the surau. Unfortunately, these are the most uncomfortable times because the women there would look at me as if to say "dah la tak pakai tudung, ada hati nak solat" which rendered me VERY uncomfortable. It may be just my  mind going wild, because it could be possible that they look at me for i have traces of "chineseness" etched on my face (i have no idea how i looked like to them, but that is my impression)

What I'm trying to say is, you never know what that person is going through at the moment to immediately draw conclusions. She may be like me, a to-be revert that do not have the luxury to wear hijab, or a lady who is trying to change from mini skirts to long jeans, if you know what i mean. For all we know, the lady's family and friends may come from less religious backgrounds, rendering her almost impossible to wear a hijab without getting taunt "sejak bila jadi ustazah ni" even if she's only wearing a shorter-than-average hijab.

I have also seen many keyboard warriors discrediting Muslim women's achievements "Berjaya tak guna jugak kalau tak pakai tudung". I am not justifying their actions of not complying to what Allah has asked us to do, but them not doing it give us absolutely no right to belittle them. They may have a closer bond to Allah than many of us. Therefore, forgive me for quoting Miley Cyrus "Only God can judge us" which is true to every word. I regret some Malaysians exhibiting their holier-than-thou attitude. Nasihat ? Of course. Do it privately. They are stubborn? There are still many ways to change them before resorting to public humiliation. Hidayah tu Allah je boleh bagi. Du'a is the still the strongest of all weapons.

Believe me, if you have been gossiping about someone and how they handled the situation, Allah will put you in the same situation to make you understand, and unsurprisingly, you will behave exactly as the person you have been gossiping. Allah is Wise and the Almighty. I know because I have been through this many times, and I thoroughly regret my actions of judging someone. Alhamdulillah, Allah had let me see the light.

This post is as much of an advice to me as it is to you readers. Always think before you judge. I vouch for the phrase Husnudzon. For a book's cover can only tell so much about a person. I hope with this post, there will be lesser hate. For the world can do without it.

Assalamualaikum,

My life after (Part 2)

Bismillahir rahman nir rahim 

In the name of Allah , the most compassionate and merciful

I remember days before reverting where I would imagine what would happen when I did embraced Islam. Maybe i was overthinking, because the imaginative senarios would involve cold shoulders from my family and non-muslim friends. Things that they might gossip about me. But when i finally did revert, i thought nothing of these. I just managed "Alhamdulillah, at least that now there is a possibility that I wouldn't go to Hell." 

In Allah power, everything was relatively easy. I told my then non-muslims dorm mates in UPM's college about my faith and they received it gracefully. My parents, as i have written in previous post, weren't as graceful but as time goes, with many explanations from both me and my brother (he has  finally chosen a name ! Adam Yusof ) they begin to accept and are extremely tolerable to our new lifestyles. 

There was one time when my brother and I are at home during Hari Arafah and my brother wanted to puasa sunat. At 8am, my dad bought all of us nasi lemak. My brother, Vynson Adam decline the nasi lemak and said he wasnt hungry and will eat it for dinner. I immediately knew what was going on so i told my dad , while we were alone , that Adam was fasting. My dad said:

 "Why would you hide it ? Just tell me la! There's nothing wrong with fasting." 

This was surprising to me because my dad was of Catholic upbringing and was baptized when he was a baby in Sarawak, as all (or most) of my cousins in Sarawak has. At the first few weeks of my reversion, my dad showed a little resistance compared to my mum, who gave me full support after understanding that embracing Islam was my decision, and only mine. I guess it was partly because of his belief in Christianity. I have always wondered why i wasn't baptized, but i never got around to asking. Now i just joke with my dad that all of his kids wants to revert (meimei has said "nak masuk islam like zhezhe(me)" but she's too young to decide. but inshaa Allah she will to!) because he didn't baptized us from the start. 

What really caught me off guard was when i have to attend a family dinner (mind you, chinese family dinners mean the whole big family) in my hijab. I told my dad about my fears and he looked me dead in the eye and said "Be proud of who you choose to be, like i am proud of you" *sobsob* *insert crying emoticon* I love them , I love both my parents dearly. Even more after i have reverted.

Assalamualaikum 

ps, here's a screenshot of my mum being adorable about buying me a sejadah