Bismillahir rahman nir rahim
In the name of Allah , the most compassionate and merciful
I'm quite sure most of you are having many questions, as to why i have so suddenly(?) reverted to Islam. Well then , I shall just tell everything here, so that I wouldn't have to repeat-type the story over whatsapp *insert laughing with tears emoticon* To those who have asked for the story before the start of this blog , this is a
an even longer version of it
So , here goes.
In primary school , i vaguely remember my mum turning around from the car front passenger seat telling me,
"If you wanna find a boyfriend , don't find malay. But if you want to marry malay, make sure he has a lot of money. Because when he wants to marry another , at least you can survive with the money. They can marry 4 wives !"
Now before you judge my mum(haha), i would like to tell that this is how most chinese think. Money is god. And that is it's not easy to live in a country where you're second class citizens. Up till primary school, I have been fed with "They give soalan bocor during agama class!" "Maybe your friends have special answers" (rest be assured , i have now told my parents and the rest of my chinese family that it is not true). During this time as well, I have always wondered about why they have to cup their hands during Du'a , and wipe their face after "Amin"
In SM Sains Selangor, I like seeing my friends solat . The unity of jemaah just mesmerize me, the way sunsets and a sky full of stars do. This is the place where i ask questions about Islam and try wearing tudung, so much that my parent never question my motive of wearing anymore. In my form 5 days, I bought a book on how to perform salat. All the while having intention to convert when i
am perfect can do and perform what's wajib. On the last day of school, i received a beautiful blue Quran, a cute hello kitty headscarf and a pin from Ustazah Mazination. Terharu sangat !
After SPM, Ustazah ajak pergi somewhere and i felt like it was too rushed. so i backed off a little. Berat sikit nak solat. Nak habiskan one rakaat tu felt soooooooo long. At that one time i felt like i wanted to give up , i saw a tweet that goes "Masa solat la masa manusia berehat" and that tweet was so sudden cause i dont follow the person who tweeted it , nor retweeted by anyone i follow. Maybe a coincidence , tapi to me it feels like Allah nak tunjuk kuasa dia.
In UPM, it was on a Monday. I puasa sunat on that day tapi ada classmate minta belanja, so to serumpun we went. After revealing that i am actually fasting, we talked about islam and about my niat to masuk Islam. The person then told me that "What if kau tak sempat, and ajal kau dah sampai?"
I actually have been told that a few times , but it hasn't had any effect on me, even this is time. So i just swept that under the carpet. Then on Tuesday, we were having Agriculture lecture , and the Dr. was talking about Agro Camp(which i can't attend as im working during the same weekend) and i had a sudden thought. What if, there was a reason behind me not being able to attend the camp ? What's the reason ? I now have a very strong urge to recite my syahadah. To make it official between me and Allah.(This is what i take as my "Hidayah")
And so I told that same person and he (was kinda shocked) passed my number to a few sisters who he had contacts of that he thinks can guide me. After a few convos through whatsapp, and a short meet up on Friday, I have decided to recite my syahadah on Saturday during subuh. Everything felt so fast, and so easy. I was relieved when i recited my syahadah. A burden finally gone. Alhamdulillah
